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A Lesson In Judging Other Moms

This will come to no surprise, but I needed a break from my dear sweet Layna who had been following me around the house relentlessly whining and getting into trouble. So, I went to McDonalds so that she could play with strangers’ kids in a semi-clean, enclosed area. (What? I saw them squirt the outside with bleach solution….one time)

So I am about to eat my bunless burger when the two ladies at a table nearby are talking, just as loud as can be.

“Dustin doesn’t feel pain. He is fearless.”

“Ella potty trained herself!”

“My child is oh so very well behaved and is polite to EVERYONE!”

“He always opens the door for me and every other person on the planet!”

“I decorated the entire house with decorations I made myself.”

“I did my Christmas shopping in July, wrapped everything in August, and made my Christmas cookies in September and just froze them so that I could free up December for putting up our extensive Christmas light display.”

“Organic!!!”

“No spanking!”

My brain! I was so annoyed. I was annoyed by their perceived “got-it-togetherness”. I was annoyed by the gloating. I was annoyed at their volume. I was annoyed that I felt the weird need to compare my parenting and mommness to these two! I quickly pushed it down, down, down where it belongs. It helped when I saw one of their children persistently trying to climb UP the slide, tumbling back down, crying, and then trying it again. These organic-eating, frozen cookie defrosting, potty-training super children were, as I discovered, quite similar to my own kid.

I was about to put my head down in annoyance when one of the moms came up to me and began talking to me about AJ. We talked about his delightfully solid-babyness, pediatricians, and baby teeth. The other mom joined and, as it turns out, we all live in Vail and have connections with the school district.

They gave me some wonderful inside info on starting Alayna at one of the preschools at some of the elementary schools in the district. They complimented Alayna’s haircut and cute pronunciation of “f’s” and I complimented their children's politeness. Yes, they really were very cordial, I had to admit.

This age old lesson of not judging books by their covers rang true once again. Next time, when we meet for our scheduled play date next week because we all got along so well….I will remember this. :)

A New Format!

I have decided to put a little bit of organization into my blog...and therefore, the following will commence:
Monday-Mom Topics
Tuesday-Paleo/Food
Wednesday-Bacon Topics
Thursday-Gripe Day
Friday-Some type of Tip...day
Saturday/Sunday-undecided...

And thus, it begins:

I don't know what to write about.

Almost 3 Months: A Reflection

September 3rd

November 22nd


September 3rd

November 22nd



I am happy to report that, after 3 months of eating primal, I have consistently lost 5lbs of body fat a month. Too slow for some, but the weight loss hasn't stopped like it did when I was counting every calorie and I feel quite like Tony the Tiger describes things-"Greeeaaat!"

Gone are the days to which I was clawing huge scratch-marks on my desk at work in anticipation for my lunch of a frozen Lean Cuisine, only to be left unsatisfied and still hungry.

Gone are the days of feeling shaky and uncontrolled when passing by the dessert table at some sort of function. My sweet tooth is almost completely quelled.

Gone are the days of going to my Mom's and having to have the bread or rolls, the gluten bombs...again, I just don't care.

It feels nice to not be addicted to that stuff anymore.

Did I mention how many headaches I have had since going off the grains, potatoes, corn and limiting my dairy? I have had none. NONE! ZERO! That is pretty good seeing how it was more likely for me to have a headache than to not have one.

What I like best about adapting this lifestyle is simply because it is for the chronically lazy...like me! I watch The Biggest Loser religiously every week, but I always walk away thinking, "man, I would hate to be them." I feel like this because in the transformation story, it is not uncommon for these people to be saying, "Yeah, I wake up at 4am, go to the gym for 2 1/2 hours, then go to work, and then come home and work out for another hour." Seriously? Can any human keep that up forever? If that is what it took to feel great and look good nikkid, then I don't think I would ever put forth the effort. Too bad that is what everyone thinks is what it will take. :(

Anyway, back to the lazy part. This lifestyle is perfect for those who hate to count calories and measure stuff. Yes, I had to measure at first, but not anymore. I work out 4 times a week and usually the workouts last about 20 minutes. Maybe. On Friday I did a workout that took me a total of 8 minutes. It was 8 minutes of crazy, but 8 minutes. They are called Tabata workouts, check it out. Crossfit is a great site to get some fantabulous workouts as well.

Gone are the days of walking on a treadmill or doing the elliptical for 45 minutes a day to lose fat. That theory is bunk.....and really time consuming.

Oh right, laziness. So, I just eat my meats, fats and vegetables when am hungry. I do quick, intense workouts a few days a week.

Take that Bob from Biggest Loser! I wont be going to Subway anytime soon or working out for 3 hours! Consider yourself stuck it to!


Let me end my reflection by telling a sad, terrifying story about a fat lady at McDonalds. Yesterday I dropped by McDonalds to get Alayna her free Happy Meal (Chicken Nuggets, Apples, and waaaaater?!) and we went inside so she could play in the urine soaked play place for a bit. I had to order something over a dollar in order to get the free Happy Meal. I ordered a double cheese burger.

I sit down near a very large, very rolly lady in a tank top with her equally lardy kids. I actually didn't notice her at all until she interrupted my McDonald's reverie. I had taken off the buns from the burger and thrown them away. From the nearby table I hear in a scoffing tone, "Into some new fad diet? Only eating meat?"

I look over at her with her super sized fries, large diet soda and Big Mac. I looked down at my sorry meat patties with cheese and 2 pickles. "No, actually," I began, "I don't eat any grains, pasta, potatoes, anything with gluten, try and stay away from sugar...stuff like that."

"WHY?!" She snorted.

Sighing I said, "Well, because it is through my experience that it is not fat that makes you fat, it is that other stuff that does. Gluten reacts quite similarly as sugar. It is also very addicting. Also, I don't ever want to look like you." Just kidding. I didn't say that last part....but she was being SO crazy about it that I wanted to.

"UGH! That is so not true," she again scoffs. "You're just wasting your taste buds and time being on a fad diet."

"Well. I have never felt so good and it is obviously not a fad diet because everyone reacts this way when I take my buns off of my hamburger. Also, I have lost 15lbs of body fat where nothing else has ever worked. If it is a fad, then I am on board."

She concludes our conversation by rolling her eyes.

I didn't know eating a hamburger without a bun could cause such strong emotions in the people around you.

Bacon: A Haiku

Bacon, I don't blame,
Glistening on my black stove.
Bacon, I love you.

Fat: The Wrongly Accused

I came across this tasty little tidbit early today:

According to a new book out called Fat by Jennifer McLagan, bacon's fat is a lot like that of olive oil: "45 percent of the fat in bacon is monounsaturated, the good-for-you fat that can help lower bad cholesterol levels. Better still, bacon's monounsaturated fat turns out to be oleic acid, the same fat found in olive oil. So that means that some could argue that bacon is about half as good for you as olive oil and about 100 times more delicious."

You wont find any arguing on this side! Poor bacon. Why did it get such a bad rap? It shouldn't be picked on because it is beautiful and delicious. Don't worry Bacon, I understand all too much. Lets take a look at where fat's good name began to be rubbed, unfairly, into the mud.

Lets start here, in 1960, when the government responded to an increase in heart disease with this monstrosity:

Little did they know at the time, nor care to correct now, the breads, cereals, rice and pastas were contributing, if not causing the heart disease; not the saturated fat and cholesterol......aannnyywaaayy....poor bacon is lumped up there at the top of the pyramid. How sad.

So, years and years of government and doctoral prodding have us all stuck in this stupid mentality that fat=bad. If you can see the delicious, delicious fat that = extra bad. We have this mentality, this oh so very wrong, mentality that fat makes us fat; that fat makes us unhealthy. Don't make me make you think....ugh! Fine.

Join with me now on a mental journey. Picture what you believe a hunter/gatherer...person to look like. What are they doing? What does their body look like? What are they eating? Not a scary thing to imagine, unless your hunter/gatherer chick isn't wearing a shirt. Just sayin.

Lets disregard the fact that people have lived off of animals and plants for a really long time and, from studies done by observing a few of the last remaining, they are about a billion times healthier than most Americans. (Yes, a BILLION!) Lets disregard that as a free-flow of breads, grains, pastas and rice were made more plentiful, and cheaper, to Americans, that we have seen a sure and steady rise in obesity and heart disease (to name a few). All of that aside, please explain to me why, if fat is the secret killer in the closet, the fat free movement of the 1990's did, oh, nothing?

Oh sweet, sweet fat free double latte. You were all for not. Think about it. Companies were taking out the fat from butters, cookies, bacon (sniff), popcorn, ice cream, and a ton of other products. They had to replace the fat with something, yes? How about chemicals and additives. Look junkies, it wasn't until processed foods (yes, that includes your mini muffin) that the issues we face now made their headway. Pfff...nice going.

All that to tell you this: Fat is not bad for you. We ourselves are products of mind shaping by the Department of Health and Human Services. Eat your bread! Eat that spaghetti! Don't let your toast get away! You'd be better off eating a spoonful of butter than the toast in the first place.

There is a lot of science on these issues; you have only to look. Try Robb Wolf's 30 Day Challenge or Whole 9's 30 Day Challege (My favorite because the author says Effin) or Mark's Daily Apple 30 Day Challenge. All different sites saying the same exact thing.

My success story is only starting to unfold. At first it was all about my losing fat. Now it is all about the extreme change in how I feel, perform, my daily life, my health, my happiness....all that weight stuff is just secondary.

Out of the Woodwork They Appeared!

It is bothering me that the more weight I lose and the better I feel, more and more scoffers seem to be popping out of the woodwork. THIS IS NOT A FAD DIET!!! THIS IS A LIFESTYLE!!! The reason I have become quite passionate about expressing my opinion and not letting the nay-sayers go is because it has changed, not only the way I look, but the way I feel, act and make decisions on a daily basis(A Christian parallel? I think so.)

Here is my list of positive and negative effects to help you determine if it is worth it:
In 8 weeks:
Positive

• 10 pounds of body fat lost and quickly losing more
• 4 inches lost on my hips and 4 inches on my waist (8 weeks people)
  
• Body composition changed
• Workout performance has doubly improved
• Hungry less
• Crave crap less than I ever have before (this is huge for me)
  
• Less headaches
• More energy
  

Negative

• Sometimes you go hungry when you have no control over a meal being served (ie-a ministry conference: Huge sub sandwich with little meat, chips and a cookie) By the way, the meat and tomatoes from my sandwich were delish!
• Trying to explain to a person that I am not only gluten free, but do my best to eat Paleo and what that means.
  
• The person's look after I try and explain.
• Trying to explain to people that this is NOT a fad diet
  
• Remembering the good ol' days of gorging on processed carbs with my friends and knowing that I can never go back.

Hmm...all of my Positives are physical reasons. All of my Negatives are social reasons.

Well, guess what, I'm not getting fat and unhealthy again for you or anyone else!